Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
