tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
