you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize