I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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