oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
