put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
