I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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