Pappa wants mamma naked
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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