I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I love you. Go after that dick
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
