I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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