He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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