You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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