Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
