I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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