Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
