Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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