i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
