He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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