i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
