i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize