I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
