did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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