It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
