oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
