i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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