I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
