That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
