i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize