He asked to "fluff my boner.."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Randomize
