I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
