NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
