Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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