I just made out with a guy for $7.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
