I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
