I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
