it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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