I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
