turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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