He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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