Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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