dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
