we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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