She said her name was "party"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
