Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
