I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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