Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
