True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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