My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
