he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
