What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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