so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
