I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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