i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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