I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
