no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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