iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
