Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
