the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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