I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My feet surprised me
Pooping to opera.
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