Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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