I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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