dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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