bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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