Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
