The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize