Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
