remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
