Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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