So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
