Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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