just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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