why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
