Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
