If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
