he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
