haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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