glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
