Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
