Moan for me like Helen Keller
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
