Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize