Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
