actually, I'm a sock model
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
