my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
