I'm eating all of the evidence.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
